The delicate balance

This expat thing is for the birds.  It’s fine when everything is going fine, but it’s such a delicate balance and when things are going even just slightly out of kilter, they seem to tip over the edge much too easily.  It’s that sense of not having a support network that’s killing me right now.  Well, not killing me, obviously.  But I am just ever so slightly unhinged.  I was either actively working or unproductively stressing about work all weekend long.  This has an unfortunate effect.  I turned down not one but two potential social outings with locals–yes, that’s right, actual English people–because I didn’t feel like I could afford the time this weekend.  So you can see the irony there and the vicious cycle-ness about it all.  My chances to build a better support network here were just out of grasp right at the point at which I could have used a better support network here.  I would laugh if I could stop crying for no reason long enough to do so.  (Note to sister: it’s amazing how growing up doesn’t change the fact that crying DOES mean you’re tired!)  Clearly the best thing in the world to do right now is get the work done and get some balance back… hopefully next time I have a chance to socialize with the locals I will be able to.  Hopefully this was not the one and only time that these particular people went out on a limb and reached out to the sorry American… in the meantime, fortunately the trip home to the states is now in 10 days and counting.  Frankly that can’t come a moment too soon. (Well, aside from my virtually imploding if I don’t get my work done in that time!)  Right enough yammering, back to the grindstone.  Happy Monday everyone!

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