After the odd start to my week, with the random but fun clicking around on the internet due to a wedding announcement, it became clear by yesterday that this was a week in which weddings were the theme. Tomorrow I am due to attend a wedding here in England for the first time since my arrival, which is bound to be a fascinating experience. And in the meantime, late evenings in the middle of this week were occupied by watching the DVD of the Sex and the City movie. There’s a line in there when an angry Carrie Bradshaw yells at Miranda that she “ruined my marriage” and of course it’s not true, she may have helped disrupt the wedding but there’s a pretty crucial distinction between a wedding, a single event, and a marriage, some relationship that goes on for years, for better or for worse.
Now I have mixed feelings about all of this wedding stuff. I am a divorced person, and thirteen years ago I had a big white wedding complete with a princess dress and nearly 200 guests. Now obviously splashing out on an event like that does not guarantee the future of the couple in question, and it is my assertion after watching the phenomenon unfold that it’s really easy for the marriage in question to take a back-seat to the wedding. It is easy to get wedding blinders and not to be able to see beyond them.
Perhaps it is obvious that in light of my own history, all of this talk of weddings can put me slightly into a funk. It’s hard to think positively about all of this, and yet at the same time it’s hard to feel like I’ve lost my only chance at the ripe old age of thirtysomething. While I know I would not have a second wedding with two hundred guests and a big white dress, I sometimes wish that I did have something like what was at the end of the SATC movie, which was also remarkably similar to the small Miranda-and-Steve event from the tv show. Close friends and family only, and with a focus on the future, not the day itself. The wedding magazines and wedding industry would suggest that this is not enough, but I think it probably is. However, enough about me, it will sure be an interesting adventure to attend my first English wedding tomorrow, and see how it contrasts with those I have attended in the USA.