Dear So-and-so take 3

My third go at the dear so-and-so format started by Kat at 3bedroombungalow. And first in a few weeks since my travels took precedence!

Dear White Van Driver/Electrician,

Really, does a hand-written sign in the window of your van, stating “Working inside building at xx Street” with your mobile number allow you to park in handicapped spots? I’m glad that you’re working, especially in this economy, but you do know that parking in this area is extremely limited, and that rare spot might be needed by someone who is actually handicapped? Find another spot and carry your £$%&* toolbox a few extra meters like the rest of us.

Disgusted, NFAH

Dear Guy Whose Meeting I had to Postpone Yesterday because I Had My Own Work To Do,

Do you really think sending me abusive emails is going to make me want to drop everything and reschedule with you? You do realize that helping you is NOT part of my job description, it’s a favor (and an amazing time sink) that I do for a respected colleague. So that makes you a hobby. Not my job. So stop being such a jerk or I’ll just mysteriously never have time in my diary for you again.

K! Bai, NFAH

Dear British Weather Forcasters,

Your statement about there being heavy rains today was part of the dry, British understatement-based humor, eh?

Damp, NFAH

Dear New Person in the Flat Above Me,

First of all, welcome. There had been no one above me for a while, which I now notice because of how blissfully quiet it used to be, and what a stark contrast it has been to this week when there has clearly been someone above me. But in particular, can I draw attention to your strange habit of doing some sort of repetitive exercises at 7:10 in the morning, that result in a series of rhythmic thumps on my ceiling, directly above my bed? Not appreciated. Although I have been out the door earlier than usual this week, I really already have a much more pleasant sounding alarm clock. Find a new spot to do your calisthenics, okay?

Thanks in advance, NFAH

Dear Grocery Store Check-out Girl,

Thanks for being so pleasant. And I’m going to learn to take it as a compliment that people like you still keep insisting on asking for my ID, even though my days of being under 18 are over 15 years ago. I’m learning to carry my ID all the time in this crazy country. But your revealing your age to set aside your equally-youthful appearance was a bonus.

Best from the sisterhood, NFAH

Dear Grammy,

I should really try to explain blogging to you, although after talking to you yesterday when you were so perplexed that I count rent a car in MN from England, perhaps it’s just too much. But I hope you’re counting down, I’ll be there in MN in just over 3 weeks to play (and lose at) Scrabble!

Love from your Adoring Granddaughter, NFAH


2 responses to “Dear So-and-so take 3

  1. I love the last one, to your Grammy! Say hi to her from me… On second thoughts, don’t. That would be too complicated to explain by far.

  2. “..some sort of repetitive exercises at 7:10 in the morning, that result in a series of rhythmic thumps on my ceiling, directly above my bed?”

    Is that the longest description of morning sex or what? 🙂

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