Dear So-and-So is a Friday thing, but I had a busy week. And I’ve been saving up the rants and things all week long, so here goes.
Dear British Newspapers,
Confirmed. You lie!
Still can never remember which ones are associated with which political faction, NFAH
Dear Charlie Brooker and Other Outraged British Citizens Upset over the Kraft-Cadbury Thing:
I do hope you realize how ridiculous you sound. The world is NOT actually ending. And oh yes, did you ever buy a bar of your precious Cadbury chocolate in the US? Lookie here:
But I’m sure you knew that. In fact, I’m sure you walked around America talking about how inferior this Cadbury’s chocolate was to the “real” stuff back home.
And Charlie Brooker, if you can stop ranting long enough to try something, have one of the extremely popular jalapeno crisps/chips that are currently the craze in America.
Tired of the whole “the sky is falling” thing, NFAH
I thought it was a joke when I heard about the whole “pyjama ban” thing. I thought it was one of those over the top British things associated with the “social dis-ease” and avoidance of the possibility of embarrassing others, especially when I saw the quote of the supposed sign.
“To avoid causing offence or embarrassment to others, we ask that our customers are appropriately dressed when visiting our store (footwear must be worn at all times and no nightwear is permitted).”
But when I found out you tried to block the entry of a D-list celebrity into the store because she was wearing a posh tracksuit, I realized that no matter how ridiculous this seemed, you were serious. Seeing as I do occasionally run out in my lounge-wear on the weekend, I’m feeling ever so grateful that my local shop is a Sainsbury’s.
Hoping my local shop doesn’t decide to follow in your footsteps,
Dear Person Suing Simon Cowell Because You Were Rejected from Britain’s Got Talent,
Thanks for making it clear that the Brits have passed the Americans completely when it comes to frivolous lawsuits.
Hoping this person’s 15 minutes are about up, NFAH
Dear Two People Who Came Back Into My Life This Week After Years-Long Absences,
It’s wonderful to have you back.
In awe of the magic of the internet, NFAH